The Fear of Results

Ever since I discovered the Ellis Sigil and upped my magickal practice, I’ve had an unprecedented surge of energy that scare me at times. As I fire more sigils, find new and more interesting ways to cast spells, the more and more confident I become in my abilities. Right now, I’ve got a pair of sigils I plan on firing together. I hesitate to do it not because I’m scared of it failing, but because that I’m sure that they‘ll work.
Somewhere in the very depths of my heart, I knew beyond doubt that it’ll work, the turn of events that’ll happen because of it, the mere thought of it, just scare me sh*tless.
The phrase “Be careful what you wish for” has been the fodder of dozens of movies and stories throughout history, serving as cautionary tales against shortsightedness. Its more than appropriate when magick is concerned. It makes the caster reevaluate his motives and his means, and to contemplate the long-term effects of their actions.

It’s the the feeling of immense potential and power at the very tip f my fingertips that brought me to that realization. I know that I’m sounding like such a sorcerous noob right now, but eff, it’s like the feeling of riding in a fast accelerating sport car, with a defect in the brake shoe. The first few seconds is pure bliss as you go from 0 to 80 kph. But come the realization that you’ve gone from 80 to 120 kph and beyond in a matter of seconds, and with no sign f stopping, the terror is beyond words.

I know that there will come a time that I’ll be going back to this post and laugh at myself, because by then, I would’ve done things unimaginable to me right now, the same way I’ve done things unimaginable to me five years ago. But I will never forget the feeling of feeling the world at the palm of my hands.

My own world, and it was up to me to protect or destroy.